Is it just my imagination?

My initiator guru, A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami said there was no need for ekadas-bhav initation in which one is given a spiritual identity by a guru, one would realise one’s own spiritual identity in due time. Gauranga Das Babaji advised me to never leave Vrindaban because everyone there was engaged in meditating on Radha Krishna and would strengthen my meditation. Sri Lalita Prasad Thakur initiated me into ekadas-bhav and told me to go back to the West and preach. I learned a method of visualization and meditation from him. I wondered if Goloka Vrindaban existed on its own, or did it exist because I imagined it.

After many years, I now conclude that it doesn’t matter. Everything we can imagine is real on some level of existence. With so many persons imagining Radha Krishna and Goloka Vrindaban for so many years, they must exist. Whatever we most desire, set our mind on, love, cherish and focus our life energy on, we will think of at the time of death and that will carry us on to the next life. I am still placing my bets on Radha Krishna. Their eternal service is the be all and end all of my life. There is just nothing else more attractive to me, and I have studied many different paths. I am also sure that when I fully realize the Divine Couple and their abode, it will all be much more than I ever imagined.

Don’t stop doubting and questioning. Certainly God is not offended by these things. Rather they are signs of a true seeker. It is through doubting and questioning that we are able to realize the truth in reality. Question the scriptures. Question the tradition. Question your guru. If your guru is offended by your questions and does not want to answer them, he may not be the right guru for you. When I was in my twenties, I thought I knew it all. Now, I am not as certain of things. There is much we do not know and many paths forming pieces of the puzzle. Yet I know that for me Radha Krishna love and devotion can’t be wrong. Blessings. Jai Radhe!

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